John T. Molloy, author of Dress for Success, conducted an interesting experiment while writing his book. He panhandled money at New York City’s Port Authority Bus Terminal and Grand Central Station. During rush hour, he stopped people and said he was embarrassed but had lost his wallet and needed 75 cents to get home. He did this for two hours. During the first hour, he wore a suit but no tie. During the second hour, he wore a tie as well. In the first hour, he made $7.23, and, during the second hour, his net was $26 dollars — nearly five times more. Molloy’s conclusion? The public perceives the tie as a symbol of respectability and responsibility. People trust and respect someone who is well-groomed and cared for. Why wouldn’t you want this for yourself and your child? Obviously, I’m not saying you must wear a suit every day, but putting your best foot forward can only improve your life.

A study done in part by New York University sociologist, Dalton Conley, found an increase in a woman’s body mass directly correlated to a decrease in her family income and job prestige. Men, however, experienced no similar negative effect. The study, sponsored by the National Bureau on Economic Research, found a one percent increase in body mass as measured by using BMI results in a 0.6 percent decrease in family income. This isn’t right, but it’s reality, and is something that should be taken into consideration for yourself and your children.

I’ve known many mothers who are persistent, committed, self-sacrificing, attentive, driven, methodical, motivated, creative, competent, bright, self-critical and perfectionistic. These adjectives make them wonderful mothers, wives, employees, and so on, but also tend to make them very poor in the self-care department. Too much stress, including the stress of being a day-to-day caretaker, jeopardizes health, happiness, productivity, goals, and relationships. Working with little variation or a high demand for productivity and recurring pressured deadlines over an extended period of time will create a lot of stress. It’s time to start taking care of you regardless of deadlines, soccer games, and everything else you have going on at any given moment. This may sound like blasphemy to the typical mom, but attempting to perform all these daily tasks while feeling overburdened and unwell simply makes you ineffectual. It’s time to start living and enjoying life, cultivating a fulfilling life that involves what you want and caring for your own needs, as well as those of your family. Self-care is a well-understood and universally-affirmed concept, with a history of poor implementation. Like most everything else, life is a game of balance. Finding that balance is key to taking care of yourself while, at the same time, taking care of those who depend on you.

In a study done by the Journal of Economic Psychology, University of California researchers found that attractive people make, on average, 12 percent more money than their less good-looking coworkers. This may not seem fair, but wouldn’t you want to give your child every possible advantage in life?

Remember, when you look good, you feel good. I know that sounds incredibly simplistic, but it is so important for you to understand that how you look strongly drives your own self-image and the way that others perceive you.  This fact impacts you, not only as an individual, but also as a parent. I taught my children that life has challenges that must be met and conquered. When I was fat, my children began to gain weight, and I knew it was my responsibility to not only show them new ways to eat and stay active, but also to show them that, despite my weight problem, I would be able to conquer and solve it. I know to this day, my son’s daily runs and his incredible endurance, were borne from my decision to start running. The small changes I made in my own life have endowed him with a life of prudent exercising.

It sounds cliché, but your body really is your temple. You’ve only got one body in this life; you have to live in it, and others will judge you based on how you care for it.

The world is much like a job interview. At the office, your child’s school, even the grocery store, the people you interact with see your outside, not your inside. Job interviews give the employer a chance to see firsthand what you are all about and much on this first encounter. So what does your physical resume say about you? In this competitive world, does your physical resume say you lack motivation, you are trapped in the past, suffer from a host of medical conditions and that you don’t care about yourself? Not selflessness — that is something different. A slovenly appearance says you don’t care. To an employer, someone who can’t even take the time to show up clean and well groomed represents someone unorganized, irresponsible and lacking confidence. This scenario also applies to the world at large.  You need to stop thinking, “Well if people love me they will simply love the inside me.” Good luck with that. Your “inside” you is only part of you, but it is the less obvious part. Make the whole package great. Don’t drive around life in a crappy-looking car just because it runs well, have it all.

On a recent trip to the mall, I observed a morbidly obese woman.  In fact, she would probably fall into the newly formed category of obesity titled “super morbidly obese.” This woman was huge. I was absolutely astonished by the fact that she was ambulatory as she was certainly well into the 400-lb range. Orbiting her gigantic form were four globe-shaped satellites that were her young children. They too were absolutely enormous. I have seen this pattern repeatedly. Simply put, fat parents engender fat children, through both modeling and acceptance (Don’t worry, I’m not ignoring the biological components of obesity here.  I simply believe that, in many, many cases, nurture overshadows nature). When I see children that size who are obviously candidates for juvenile diabetes, as well as a host of other lifelong health threats, I see child abuse. Indeed, what is the difference between striking a child and causing him or her injury as opposed to overfeeding a child and causing him or her injury? They are synonymous. The value of healthy modeling is likely the most important function as a parent. When you don’t care about yourself, you are giving your children lessons in self-worthlessness.

In the book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg, the author devotes a chapter to how children learn by watching Mom and Dad. Steinberg begins by pointing out how often we look in the mirror and recognize that we frequently have the same facial expressions as our parents. We often mimic attitudes, values, opinions, and habits that our own parents had as we grew up — despite that fact that we swore we’d be different. Then, you grow up and the tables are turned. Your own child acquires your expressions, opinions, and habits. Steinberg says there is nothing we can do to prevent our children from mirroring our own actions, so it becomes a parent’s job to make sure that they model good choices. The tendency for children to imitate parents is so strong that scientists now believe that it is part of our evolution as humans.