It was nine a.m., on a Wednesday morning, and I sat in a weekly marketing meeting listening intently to my employer’s plans to crush our competition. Midway through the third quarter projected earnings, my focus was diverted by a seriously bizarre event. I heard, and most disconcertingly felt, a buzzing, ringing sound. Maybe not so unusual, at first blush… but this sound that I was hearing and feeling… it was inside my head. Not good.

The sound rose and fell with machine-like precision. I began unobtrusively searching for the source of the buzzing. I worried that the strangle internal sound and vibration was a sign that I had become afflicted by the latest virus du jour or other –itus ending word. Or maybe this was some unexplained phenomenon like the Taos hum?

The strange buzzing took the form of a staccato telephone ring cycle, very… um… rhythmic. When I concentrated on locating the source I realized the buzzing was most intense near my side. So I leaned to one side, grabbed my sizeable love handle pulled the pudge up. At that moment, with startling volume, my cell phone gasped “RING! RING! RING!” As it was freed from the weight of my gut.

Embarrassed, I quickly hit the silent button on my cell phone.  I realized the ringing/buzzing sound in my head had been my cell’s vibrating “ring” traveling through my body, up through my torso and into my inner ear. For a moment, I couldn’t help but be a tad amused by the event. Amazing science! Sound waves amplified, traveling through fat. Entertaining yes. But also quite a shocking wake up call. The more I thought about the incident, the more disgusted I became with myself.

It sounds cliché, but your body really is your temple. You’ve only got one body in this life; you have to live in it, and others will judge you based on how you care for it.

The world is much like a job interview. At the office, your child’s school, even the grocery store, the people you interact with see your outside, not your inside. Job interviews give the employer a chance to see firsthand what you are all about and quite a bit rides on this first encounter. So what does your physical resume say about you? In this competitive world, does your physical resume say you lack motivation, you are trapped in the past, suffer from a host of medical conditions and that you don’t care about yourself? Not selflessness — that is something different. A slovenly appearance says you don’t care. To an employer, someone who can’t even take the time to show up clean and well groomed, would represent someone unorganized, irresponsible and lacking confidence. This also applies to the world at large.  You need to stop thinking, “Well if people love me they will simply love the inside me.” Good luck with that. Your “inside” you is only part of you, but it is the less obvious part; make the whole package great. Don’t drive around life in a crappy-looking car just because it runs well; have it all.

[i] J, Andreoni R. Petrie. “Journal of Economic Psychology.” University of California (2008) 73-93
Moderately attractive people took home seven percent less in earnings than their prettier co-workers. According to the study, the main reason for this was that attractive people are seen as more helpful and cooperative. The study also found that, of those participating in the study, 39 percent of attractive men and women were judged to be helpful, compared to 16 percent of moderately attractive people, and only 6 percent of unattractive people.

As humans, we tend to see ourselves as other people see us. Although we may view ourselves in regular, two-dimensional mirrors, these looking glasses don’t reveal our stories in any sort of real, three-dimensional detail. What really seems to drive our sense of self-esteem, in terms of who we really are, are the people in our lives such as spouses, friends, and co-workers.

If I ask my wife if she thinks I’m getting fat, the answer is always, “No, honey. You look great. You’re the sexiest man alive.” And of course I trust my wife wholeheartedly, so I go about my day secure in the knowledge that I’m the sexiest man alive. But am I?

Now, if I ask my friend, Rod, “Hey, Rod, do you think I’m fat?” Rod answers very matter-of-factly, “Dude, you’re fat.” Or as he put it to me once before, “Man, you’re really looking thick.”

Men apparently lack the courtesy filter that women seem to automatically possess. Women are taught to please from a young age. Most want to be liked, which means they often opt for nice when plain truth would better serve the recipient. My friend, Rod is so blunt about any issues regarding my weight and me, it’s almost as if he has some form of Tourette syndrome. But when a woman asks her friend about her weight, she most often receives a supportive “Honey you look great”. Energized by such niceties as “having a pretty face,” women blindly plump up to critical mass. Learn to seek honest answers by asking the right questions of the right people.  Never ask a barber if you need a haircut, the answer is always yes.